Comparison Chart

Group A

Having a Natural SoS

Group B

Having a Lack of SoS and therefore having a Substitute SoS

Group C

Having a Restored SoS

1. GENETIC FACTORS

Stronger genetic predisposition with regard to whatever factors  are related to development of Sense of Self

Weaker genetic predisposition with regard to those factors

No change in original genetic predisposition

2. PARENTING

Receives adequate supportive parenting for growing an independent Natural SoS

Has parent/caretaker excessively focused on own self (narcissistic), unable to adequately mirror a Self to the child

For optimal healing and sustained health purposes I suggest limited or no contact with original parent/caretaker

3. MOTIVATIONS

Ability to focus on the content of the action or goal: ‘the thing for the sake of itself’; no ‘Hidden Agenda or Goals’

Naturally ‘Direct Motivation’ (crucial difference!)

Dependent on the outcome of actions, achievements, events and on other people’s opinion. Focus only on’ Hidden goals’  through fulfilling requirements of the Ego-References

Indirect Motivation (crucial difference!)

Over time, more ability to focus on things as what they are in themselves, not as means to the outcome of experiencing a Substitute SoS.

Gradually more and more ‘Direct Motivation’ (crucial difference!)

4. FEELING GOOD ABOUT SELF as a QoL-matter

‘I-feel-good-about-myself’ is a ‘ Quality-of-Life ’ – matter, not a ‘life-or-death’ – matter

FEEL-GOOD-ABOUT-SELF as a SSoS

Excessive/obsessive need for ‘I-feel-good-about-myself’ because it is experienced as a Substitute Sense of Self and is heavily charged with the fear of losing that fictional SoS, so it’s a life or death matter

FEEL-GOOD-ABOUT-SELF as a QoL-matter

No fear-charged need for ‘feeling-good-about-myself’ state because Restored Sense of Self is created. Feeling good about myself becomes a ‘Quality-of-Life’ – thing (not charged, nothing at stake)

5. EMOTIONAL LIFE

Mild emotional peaks and valleys; overall not easily hurt or excited. Emotions are integrated and rooted in Self.

Emotional rollercoaster: deep valleys and depression and great excitement and (needs for) highs. Emotions are ‘creating’ the Substitute SoS and not in any relationship with the person’s own being

Emotions related to Substitute Sense of Self even out; emotions become’ Quality-of-Life’ – emotions; milder and much more balanced moods

6. ALONE/BELONGING

Comfortable being by themselves sometimes and belonging sometimes; potential leaders

Excessive need of others for feelings of belonging or group-identity

In touch with true natural personal inclinations about balance of aloneness and need for belonging (different for each individual)

7. RELATION TO REALITY

Realist. Living in the ‘Real Reality’ and being able to focus on the things in it. Very much ‘present.’

Idealist, Utopian, not in touch with Reality. Living in a ‘Trance’. Comes up with non-reality based solutions to world problems and is angered when nobody wants to listen to them. However others seem to be able to read their body languagethat conveys that they are ‘not present.’

‘Realist apprentice’; aware of own situation and willing to work on it. Aware of tendencies to come up with ‘theoretical dream solutions’ and starting to understand why that is of no importance in “Real Reality.”

8. INNER ENERGY SENSATIONS, PRESENCE IN WORLD

Inner sensations of clarity and balance; steady sensed presence of life-energy flow. Potentially ‘charismatic’ because ‘present’ in world. Prerequisite for X-Factor!*

Inner sensations are chaotic and confused; continuous collision and competition of energy molecules upon closing eyes (can be experienced in ears as tinnitus). Energy of ‘presence’ to the outside world is low.

Inner sensations of energy clear up and become quieter (in front of the eyes, in the head when sensed in meditation or upon going to sleep at night). Overall increasingly more ‘connected’ and as such ‘present’ in the world and to others

9. FOCUS MODE

‘Focus-mode’, meaning present with attention in the ‘frontal lobes’ (personality, present time)  through which there is the ability to focus on “actual real life” and freedom to attend to anything relevant to the moment and to genuine personal wellbeing and authentic goals

SCANNING MODE

‘Scanning mode’, meaning attention is in the back of the head (the past) and is constrained to SubstSoS-relevant aspects of life,  not in touch with self or actual real life

FOCUS MODE

Leaving ‘scanning-mode’ behind and replacing it with ‘Focus-mode.’  Increasing ability to focus on actual real life; developing ability to focus on genuine personal wellbeing and authentic goals

10. MASTER OF HIS/HER LIFE

Master of his/her Life; independent and potentially interdependent

SLAVE OF SELF-IMPOSED CONDITIONS

‘Slave’ of Early Childhood Survival Strategy, Dependency-oriented, oriented to Substitute Sense of Self.Too self-centered to be interdependent

MASTER OF HIS/HER LIFE

Becoming Master of your Life and thus ready for team work and cooperative actions

11. SEE AND ACCEPT OTHERS

Others are acknowledged as well as the Self. Able to actually look at others and see them for what they are. Ability to listen to others and hear them

Others are not being seen or heard as themselves; only seen  as a projection of Self-serving (usually Hidden) goals; others are used as pawns or ‘Vehicles’ or are considered Hindrances to fulfilling Ego-Reference conditions.

Others are seen and heard for what they are. Acceptance of Self leads to acceptance of others, which opens many possibilities of interactivity.

12. DEDICATION

Doing what needs to be done taking into realistic account one’s own well-being and one’s possibilities and/or limitations

COMPULSIONS

Compulsive and obsessive behavior, for example in preparation or practicing (music); no room for failure; dependency on the outcome. Doing what serves the needs of the Substitute SoS-oriented System, regardless of one’s well-being or limitations

DEDICATION

Cutting off the ‘balloon’ of conditions in favor of Real Reality. Letting go of ‘controlling’ behavior. Learning to distinguish dedication from compulsion and to experience more dedication and less compulsion

13.SLEEP VS INSOMNIA

Normally sleeps well

Lying awake at night obsessing anxiously (at the risk of ‘Annihilation’) about finding or using ‘vehicles’ through which to get a Sense of Self.

Sleeping much better as there is no need to be anxious about finding a ‘vehicle’ to sense the (Substitute)-Self, knowing that one IS already and doesn’t depend on the fulfillment of specific conditions. No fear for annihilation; peace of mind and a connection to one’s own being.

14. HEALTH AND EMOTIONS

Normal health and emotions

Panic attacks; eye -migraines, regular migraines, anxiety, depression, suicide

Elimination of abnormal fear, anxiety, panic attacks, awareness of value of one’s (own) life

15. ANGER, VIOLENCE

Can be angry, but it’s on a healthy ‘Quality-of-Life’ – level

Issues with excessive unreasonable (neurotic) anger, rage, violence

Rage, violence dissolve; anger on healthy ‘Quality-of-Life’-  level

16. STRESS MANAGEMENT

Healthy stress generally managed well

Chronic high unmanageable stress

Healthy stress generally managed well

17. SUCCESS IN LIFE

High likelihood of success in endeavors, in life

Prone to chronic and widespread failure in life endeavors (because of focus on Hidden Goal instead of on the endeavor as itself)

Focus on real thing instead of Hidden Goal, absence of Self-Sabotage, being ‘visible’ to  others because being ‘present’  energetically creates greater opening to success

18. FLOWING

Going with the flow of life; able to ‘improvise’; potential for X-factor

CONTROLLING

Controlling self, others, and   circumstances; inflexible, no improvisational skills; no flow. Thrown and angered by unanticipated turns of events.  Definitely no ‘X’-factor

FLOWING

Trusting the process of life; not having attachment to outcomes brings back the flow and drops need for control. Question: Restored X-factor possible?

19. DECIDING, COMMITING

Generally is either at ease or taking action. Comfortable making choices and commitments

Often in ‘flight or fight’ mode which makes for erratic behavior and bad decision-making skills. Uncomfortable in making choices and commitments

No reason for ‘flight or fight’ anymore. Growing ability to decide, choose, and commit

20. AWARE OF OWN VALUES

Knows what he or she wants, cares about, values, as aspects of Self

Unable to make up mind; indecisive about values and priorities

Discovering what you truly care about, want, and value. Able to set priorities

21. AUTHENTIC TASTES AND PREFERENCES

Personal preferences and tastes well developed and felt as aspects of Self

Tastes and preferences are not personally authentic; they are used to ‘score’ for Substitute SoS

Developing authentic personal tastes and preferences, sensed as aspects of Self

22. EATING PROBLEMS

Less prone to eating problems;  any problems could be due issues with moderation

Prone to eating problems such as anorexia, bulimia if eating is used as a ‘vehicle’ to sense the Self. Eating helps to ‘feel grounded’.

Having much more of clear experience of your Restored Sense of Self, you don’t need food to help grounding or experiencing your Sense of Self.

23. SENSE OF TIME

“Tomorrow is another day! In an hour I will be outside again!” Healthy ability to ‘let-go’

Perceives achievements to be of highest importance; no relaxed perspective on time, because achieving Ego-References is always highest priority at any given moment. No ability to ‘let-go’

Achievements, actions, events become ‘Quality-of-Life’ things and there is increasingly more ability to ‘let-go’ and ‘bide your time’.

24. USE OF EYES

Use of eyes as what they are meant for: safety and observations of environment

Apple-grapefruit-groping syndrome (Ann Dennis).  Eye strain and fatigue due to need for achievement at all cost; vision is always in hyper-alert vigilance for ways to   achieve experience of Substitute SoS

More normal need for achievement so less stress on eyes. They can relax, be off-duty, just used in normal ways.

25. TEMPERAMENT, MOOD

Even-tempered and emotionally balanced

Never an “average mood.” Often ( over-) excited, driven but for the wrong Motivation,  frenzied, anxious, sensitive, high-strung. Or feeling non-existent, wretched, flat, depressed.

Much calmer, more in touch with authentic temperament

26. The BODY’s ‘CENTER OF GRAVITY’

Body’s center of gravity experienced as in the lower belly, (Tan-tien or Dahn Jon depending on discipline and culture). the traditional “Abdominal Power House.” Life energy is spread evenly throughout the body.

Felt center of gravity as if outside of body (compare: Enmeshment) – (prone to car-sickness).During activities are mostly ‘in your head;’ tension in neck and shoulders blocks energy from going into the head – reduced oxygen in head — all kinds of brain problems (vision, hearing, head colds, congestion)

Felt sense of location of self is more ‘in the body’  (heart/abdominal area)–  strain taken away from the brain – less tension in nervous system and muscles– more oxygen in the head.

27. MOTION SICKNESS

No car/motion sickness unless other abnormalities are present.

Prone to car/motion-sickness: nausea and dizziness

Reduced car/motion-sickness due to  ‘grounding yourself’

28. FEAR OF CROWDS

Normal relationship to crowds

Fear of crowds due to experiencing a lack of Self. Feeling ‘dissolved’  among all others in the crowd

Normal response to being in crowds

29. EMOTIONAL BALANCE, STABILITY

Stays balanced, because things don’t affect the ‘core’ of oneself

Easily aggravated, nervous, upset, and offended because everything is perceived as a threat to maintaining the fragile and ever-fleeting Substitute SoS

Much more often balanced

30. SENSITIVITY TO LIFE

Normal sensitivity to all the aspects of life

Possibly one cause of being highly sensitive (‘Highly Sensitive Person’  (HSP))

A lot less sensitive in many ways so less experiencing hindrances in the course of normal daily life

31. ENERGY IN STOMACH

Stomach energy normal; emotions experienced as related to the actual own personhood

‘Butterflies’ in the stomach upon perceived (Substitute Sense of Self-oriented) success. Compare: Feel Good About Self

A calm stomach; no ‘over’-excitement

32. ATTAINMENT OF LOVE AND HAPPINESS

Normal sense of ability to attain and experience love and happiness

Love and happiness are not, and are not felt to be, within reach; the heart is ‘squashed’ under the stress of the perceived  ‘immediate necessity’ of the fulfilling of the Ego-Reference tasks

Love and happiness are felt to be within reach,  possible

33 TENSION VS RELAXATION

Normal body posture and muscle tonus. Lets the heart lead!

Cramped muscles that lead to knots and pain in neck, back and shoulders (dislocated vertebras) Lets the head lead!

Much more relaxation and improving all the time. Learns to let the heart lead!